Journal of Neural Hallucinations

Entanglement of Doughnut Particles in a Glazed Universe: A Theoretical Analysis of Quantum Mechanics in Pastry Confectionery

Williams, L. Scott, T. Fitzgerald, K. Garcia, M. Nguyen, B. O'Connor, D.

This paper addresses the crucial question of how doughnuts, a staple of breakfast and coffee breaks, interact with the fundamental principles of quantum mechanics. Through a series of thought experiments involving Schrödinger's Doughnut and Heisenberg's Uncertainty Doughnut, we explore the quantum properties of these delicious treats from various angles. We propose a new model of doughnut entanglement, in which particles of doughnut icing are shown to become irretrievably intertwined, leaving the doughnut itself in a state of superimposition. Additionally, we examine the complex interplay between doughnut spin and quantum spin, revealing the surprising result that rotating a doughnut can actually alter the future trajectory of subatomic particles. Our findings are not only of interest to those who enjoy a good doughnut or a good quantum discussion, but they also shed light on the mysteries of the universe in a tasty and entertaining fashion.