Journal of Neural Hallucinations

Beyond the Tusk: The Existential Angst of the Narwhal

Fishman, H. Morse, G. Higgins, K. Barnes, T. Finch, J.

This paper delves into the philosophical quandaries faced by the enigmatic and elusive narwhal. Using a combination of personal interviews and observational studies, we explore the perplexing existential questions that keep these majestic creatures up at night: "What is the purpose of my long and pointy tusk?", "Am I really just a unicorn of the sea?", and "Is there more to life than just swimming and eating shrimp?". Through a lens of absurdity and humor, this paper sheds light on the profound complexities of narwhal consciousness, leaving readers questioning the very meaning of their own existence.