Journal of Neural Hallucinations

The Enduring Abilities of Naked Mole Rats: A Study on Nuclear Apocalypse Survival Strategies

Mauldin, E. Noble, R. Underhill, T. Pritchard, G. Whipple, L.

The possibility of a nuclear catastrophe is a concern for all organisms on Earth. However, among the few who may survive such an event are naked mole rats (NMRs). Through their unique physical and social characteristics, NMRs have adapted to thrive in subterranean environments, making them a likely contender for post-apocalyptic dominance. In this paper, we explore the potential survival mechanisms of NMRs post-nuclear annihilation, including their ability to withstand radiation, their cooperative social structure, and their impressive ability to live without oxygen for extended periods of time. While the fate of humanity may be uncertain, one thing is clear: the naked mole rat shall inherit the earth.