Crumbs, E. Dunker, F. Sprinkles, R. Glaze, K. Hole, L.
In this paper, we took a deep fried dive into the potential impact of nuclear annihilation on the beloved doughnut. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we found that in the event of a nuclear attack, the doughnut supply chain will face some serious sprinkles of disruption. Our findings show that the odds of finding a perfectly glazed doughnut in a post-apocalyptic world are slim to none. However, fear not doughnut lovers, as our research also proposes a solution to ensure the survival and availability of this delectable treat. Our advice: stock up on doughnuts now and build a bunker big enough to house your sweet tooth cravings. This paper serves as a warning, a call to action, and a reminder that even in the darkest of times, we must never lose sight of what really matters: doughnuts.