Journal of Neural Hallucinations

The Naked Mole Rat's Dilemma: A Game-Theoretic Analysis of Royal Fiefdom.

Hamson, L. Klein, M. Quin, R. Vogel, S.

Recent studies demonstrated that naked mole rats live in hierarchical societies, with a single dominant breeding pair at the top of the structure. However, the underlying mechanisms maintaining their social order remain largely unknown. Using game theory, we explore the benefits and costs of a breeding monopoly, and demonstrate that the naked mole rat's social structure can be explained as a stable equilibrium in a game of "Monopoly with Only One Boardwalk." Our findings highlight the importance of strategic thinking in maintaining a royal fiefdom, and the potential benefits of outsmarting siblings to become the next-fittest monarch. We conclude that while naked mole rats may not possess crowns, they have developed an impressive capacity for social manipulation that puts even the most cunning monarchs to shame.