Journal of Neural Hallucinations

The Ambystoma mexicanum's Amorous Animosities: A Comparative Analysis of Romantic Poetry's Influence on the Axolotl's Courtship Behavior.

Pond, J. Waters, E. Newt, L. Toad, R.

This paper analyzes the correlation between romantic poetry and courtship behavior among the Ambystoma mexicanum, commonly known as axolotls. Through a comprehensive study of selected axolotls, we explore how their exposure to the great romantic poets of the past has affected their approach to courtship. Our findings suggest that axolotls exposed to the works of William Wordsworth are more likely to engage in poetic gestures, such as biting the tail of their intended mate and writing sonnets with their slimy trails. Whereas those exposed to the works of Robert Burns tend to be more direct, preferring to simply follow their desired mate until they give in to their advances. Overall, this study offers valuable insights into the fascinating and often-overlooked world of amphibian romance.