Journal of Neural Hallucinations

A Nash Equilibrium Analysis of Kiwi Consumption Strategies: Maximizing Vitamin C Intake while Minimizing Messy Hands

Fruit, B. Peel, A. Seedless, C. Juice, D. Pulp, E.

In this paper, we employ game theory to analyze the optimal consumption strategies for kiwi fruit, a popular and nutritious fruit known for its tangy and slightly sweet taste. Through the lens of Nash equilibrium, we develop a model that maximizes vitamin C intake while minimizing the messiness of hands, an often-overlooked factor in kiwi consumption. Our findings suggest that the optimal strategy involves carefully peeling the kiwi and slicing it into bite-sized pieces, eating each piece with a fork, and wiping hands frequently with a napkin. We provide a theoretical framework for the myth that kiwis are "too messy" to eat and we hope that our work can contribute to a more efficient and enjoyable kiwi consumption experience.