Bingley, G. Crofton, H. Dunthorpe, F. Elwick, W.
In this paper, we examine the mathematical relationship between the length of a giraffe's neck and its homological height. We begin by acknowledging the absurdity of such an investigation, but quickly realize that the world is in dire need of conclusive evidence that long-necked mammals have a higher homological stature. Using advanced techniques from homological algebra, we derive a formula that relates neck length to homology, and apply it to a sample of giraffes from various zoos. Our results are inconclusive, as the giraffes seemed more interested in eating leaves than cooperating with our data collection process. Nonetheless, we believe that our findings have the potential to revolutionize the way we think about both giraffes and abstract algebra.