Crackle, L. Fleecy, A. Twiddle, J. Squawk, P.
This paper takes a deep dive into the mind of the intelligent and colorful parrot, exploring the existential crises that haunt these feathered creatures. Through interviews with dozens of parrots, we have uncovered a range of struggles, including a fear of flying and a longing for a deeper connection with their humans. We argue that the parrot condition is one of perpetual absurdity, as these birds are trapped between the desire for freedom and their dependence on their captors for food and shelter. Our findings shed light on the inherent contradictions of existence that plague both human and avian life, and challenge us to question what it truly means to be free.