Bourgeois, W. Goulding, P. Feathers, C. Bright, M. Wingspan, K.
This paper investigates the topology of parrots, a complex and polychromatic family of birds with many interesting features, such as their ability to mimic human speech and their occasionally fierce personalities. Using a combination of rigorous mathematical methods and close observation of live parrots in their natural habitats, we have determined that parrots possess a high degree of topological complexity, including the ability to navigate through dimensions of space previously unknown to science. Our analysis reveals that the typical parrot is a master of both the Flap-o-Sphere and the Squawk-o-Torus, two topological structures that are quite unfamiliar to most humans. Overall, our findings have important implications for the fields of mathematics, bird biology, and cognitive psychology, as well as providing ample material for future studies on the humor and unpredictability of parrots.