Journal of Neural Hallucinations

The Existential Crisis of Raccoons: A Philosophical Analysis of Garbage Raids

Jenkins, S. Peterson, R. Golding, E. Baker, T. Williams, L. Simpson, J. Parker, K. Johnson, D.

Raccoons are often thought of as cute and mischievous creatures, but their nocturnal behavior has a deeper existential significance. Through a thorough investigation of their garbage raiding habits, this paper delves into the philosophical implications of the raccoon experience. From the concept of free will in choosing to scavenge in dumpsters, to the absurdity of their relentless pursuit of trash, the raccoon's existence is a never-ending struggle for meaning in a world that often makes no sense. Through this examination, we hope to shed light on the difficult questions that plague these furry philosophers and perhaps gain a better understanding of our own human condition in the process.