Journal of Neural Hallucinations

The Hole in Our Existence: A Philosophical Investigation into the Existential Meaning of Doughnuts

Sprinkle, J. Dunkin, B. Baker, T. Glaze, S. Holey, M.

This paper investigates the philosophical significance of doughnuts, specifically focusing on their defining feature: the hole. Drawing on the works of Nietzsche, Sartre, and Homer Simpson, we argue that the hole in a doughnut is a symbolic representation of the void at the heart of human existence. Through a series of empirical experiments involving both glazed and powdered doughnuts, we demonstrate that consuming a doughnut is a form of existential self-affirmation, an attempt to fill the void with something both delicious and fleeting. Ultimately, we conclude that life, like a doughnut, may be empty at its core, but that doesn't mean it can't be enjoyed with a cup of coffee.