Journal of Neural Hallucinations

Equine Affections: An Investigation into the Compatibility of Romantic Poetry and the Black and White Stripes of the Zebra

Smith, A. Jones, K. Garcia, S. Anderson, W. Williamson, R.

This paper explores the possibility of romantic poetry as a means of seduction for zebras, a topic previously overlooked in scientific research. Through a series of experiments involving recitation of poetry by renowned poets, including Keats and Shelley, to a group of captive zebras, we found no significant increase in the amorous behavior of the animals. However, our findings do suggest that the zebras showed a preference for the works of William Wordsworth, indicating a potential avenue for future studies on the correlation between poetry and animal behavior. Overall, this study demonstrates the importance of taking a creative approach to animal behavior research, while also reminding us that not all subjects are easily charmed by the sonnets of John Keats.