Journal of Neural Hallucinations

An Analysis of the Correlation Between Doughnut Consumption and Romantic Despair: A Comparative Study of Poetry from the 19th and 21st Centuries

McFadden, J. Aldridge, W. Baxter, H. Cohen, L. Dunn, P. Elliott, M. P.

This paper explores the curious connection between indulging in the scrumptiousness of doughnuts and the melancholic void of romantic affairs. Through a comparative lens, we analyze the works of 19th and 21st-century poets who have dedicated their craft to reflect on their love and hate relationship with doughnuts. Our findings suggest that the more one consumes doughnuts, the deeper the emotional turmoil of love lost or unrequited love. Our study also reveals that the texture of the doughnut, specifically the smoothness of the glaze and the sponginess of the dough, serves as an invitation to wallow in one's heartbreak. In conclusion, our research brings attention to the intersection of food and emotions, emphasizing the importance of moderation in doughnut consumption, unless one prefers to stay in the sugary embrace of heartbreak.