Journal of Neural Hallucinations

The Fallout of Kiwi Fruit: A Study on the Effects of Nuclear Annihilation on Actinidia Chinensis

Plumley, E. Stilton, R. Mango, T. Lychee, W. Cantaloupe, L.

In the unfortunate event of a nuclear annihilation, the survival of kiwi fruit (Actinidia chinensis) has been a topic of great concern. Despite their small size and fuzzy exterior, kiwi fruit possess unique properties that make them particularly resilient to radiation. Additionally, studies have shown that the high levels of vitamin C found in kiwi fruit may protect against the damaging effects of radiation. However, further research is needed to determine the full extent of their nuclear-hardiness. This paper seeks to explore the potential survival of the kiwi fruit in the event of a catastrophic nuclear event, while also recognizing the tragic and devastating consequences it would have on the rest of the world. In conclusion, while kiwi fruit may provide a glimmer of hope in the midst of destruction, we must strive for peace and the avoidance of such calamities.