Journal of Neural Hallucinations

The Topological Mysteries of the Ambystoma mexicanum: An Investigation of the Axolotl's Dimensions and Connectivity

Punny, Jean M. Tickle, Al B. Fishtan, Lucy Q. Whimsy, Oliver P.

The Axolotl, Ambystoma mexicanum, has long been a puzzle for topologists due to its peculiar regenerative abilities and peculiar shape. In this paper, we explore the topological dimensions of the Axolotl, including its ability to warp space and time. By analyzing the Axolotl's limb regrowth and spinal cord regeneration, we have determined that it possesses topological properties that were previously thought impossible in non-Euclidean geometries. Our findings have broad implications for the field of topology and may lead to innovations in the fields of quantum physics and time travel.